Movie night (with tears)

The weather’s damn hot, can’t sleep, I’m not in mood to study, wi-fi is so slow my chrome keeps lagging, so here am I.

Hesitated for a while about which language should I type this post in.

Just wanna write random things that happened these few days. 

♪

Last Friday was the first time I posted my fanfiction on...website other than my own blog. 

Okay I've been writing fanfics now and then since secondary school. I've got two folders of foolscap papers written during school years.

Exams period were the best period to write fanfics. 

Gosh the time given for some certain paper is so long sitting through it was so exhausting unless I was writing something.

Sometimes I'll write in my notebook, especially the first few weeks I went to PLKN and most of the time while I'm studying A-levels.

Need some comfort from the fictional world to distract me from the reality.

Most of them are written in Mandarin because Mandarin is the language I'm most confident with. 

I've read a lot of fanfics, regarding which fandom I was in and which ships were I shipping. 

But I've never, ever posted it, except those embarrassing short fics I wrote during  Form 2 omg what was I thinking?! 

Last Friday.

Maybe I was drunk (with all the fluff I wrote myself hahaha), maybe I just got some random Gryffindor moment telling me "JUST DO IT", 

so yeah, I shamelessly posted it.

And there're ACTUAL PEOPLE WHO READ IT? 

waht

gawd

just

wow 

lemme just become a burrito while tearing up I'm so proud and so embarrassed of myself asdfghjkl

♪

I'm one of those who prefers watching movies and dramas alone. (Watching movies in cinemas is an exception. )

 It feels good without people judging you while you're watching your favourite show. ( as I tend to rewatch the dramas/movies I love again and again)

There were times where I kept recommending the stories (books/dramas/movies etc.) I love to others, but then I realized I doesn't matter others loves it or not.
Sure it feels good having a friend close to you that loves the same story with you, but there's also a possibility that they don't really care when you mentioned about it.
Or they don't like it as much as you do.
It feels like an insult, from me to myself, of talking about something enthusiastically to the wrong person who just. don't. care.

But still I like it when people talk to me about something they're very interested in.
You can actually see their eyes sparkling with delight and all the feels~~~ 

( I've got a friend Hui En keep on fangirling about Final Fantasy XV tho hahahaha and I keep talking to her about Newt Scamander and other Harry Potter related things

( btw Joey I love the post you wrote about Fantastic Beasts asdfghjkl

Oh, back to the topic.
Yes, I prefer to watch movies alone, especially those emotional ones *cough* The Theory of Everything *cough*

But Hui En said she wanted to watch The Danish Girl, so we had a movie night in my room after dinner.

Celebration for the terrible and motivation-killer mock exam hahahaha

From what I've imagined about my uni life, having a movie night and tearing up with a friend is not on the list.

First of all, I'm not against the LGBT community.
Maybe it's religion? Maybe it's social norms? Not 'natural'? My gave up my biology after SPM but I still understand there's something to do with your chromosomes.
I don't even know why are some (especially the elders) are so against queer people. Even my parents are against it.

but, why??
Shouldn't everyone has a choice to be with who they love? It doesn't affect your life why are you so against it?

There was a time where I was wondering about my sexuality. Fandoms and going to all girls school kinda caused this kind of doubts.
But then there's a huge difference between loving someone and being sexually attracted to someone so nah, I'm straight. I think.

Okay.
Transgender.

Saw a lot of them during vacation in Thailand, however I didn't personally know any transgender people, so, let's just focus on the movie.

Description (took it from IMDb):
A fictitious love story loosely inspired by the lives of Danish artists Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener. Lili and Gerda's marriage and work evolve as they navigate Lili's groundbreaking journey as a transgender pioneer.

I have some mixed feelings about this story.

The story started when Gerda wanted her husband Einar to become her model, and then it was just fun and games and "hahahaha they're so adorable~"

ROFL hahahhahaa

But then Einar started dressing up as a woman, and Gerda knew that it was not a game to him anymore. 

It's kinda...painful? to watch? 

I understand why Einar insisted on being Lili, because it's the 'real' him/her (um whatever).

But he betrayed his wife while going through this process?? 

Wth she saw her husband kissing another guy!?! 

Yes, Lili was very courageous in being herself, but you can't denied that she betrayed Gerda. 

The painful truth is, no, she can't.
After this Lili did tried to change back to Einar, wearing male clothes and whatnot.

Lili knew. She knew that Gerda loved her husband, and she knew she's hurting Gerda by not staying by her side when she needed her.
But she just...can't change back.
Or you can say that Einar is never really there, it was just a facade for her to survive in the society.

Eventually Gerda accepted Lili and she'd always been by her husband side about transformation of Einar → Lili.

And the ending leave me like this;

Besides tears there're quite a number of beautiful scenery in the movie. (Gigi said she like this movie very much because of the European mid-1920 scenery)

Anyway let's take a moment to appreciate this photo of Eddie:

（这是我看了关于这套戏的那么多影评后最喜欢的一个。
♪

"It's just 8pm. Wanna watch another one? I got 'The Theory of Everything."
"I thought you just watched it?!?"
"I can watch it again *wink* "


I watched this last Sunday. Didn't stopped me from being hit by the feels tho.
This is a love story of course there's some romantic scene and comedy (mostly contributed by Stephen's friend Brian in the movie)



lol

But then there's this scene:




And this:




*ugly sobbing*

And the moment, a brief moment, when he slowly stood up, walked down the stairs, picked up the pen that fell from table,






And the camera zoomed back to reality.



Thus we ended up like this:


omg WHY did we jumped on this emotional roller coaster?!?!

(The ending scene with flashbacks are my favourite
(rolling on floor crying

♪

"After this watch Fantastic Beasts?"
Hahhahahaha I don't think my heart will be able to handle so many feels in one night

(Nah the main reason is I can't find any HD sources for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them



Another music that stuck in my mind.
(Still remember the applause after the movie that moment is so moving asdfghjkl